Your last name 
                      stays put.
The garage is 
                      all yours.
Wedding plans 
                    take care of themselves. 
Chocolate is just 
                    another snack. 
You can be 
                    President. 
You can never be 
                    pregnant. 
You can wear a 
                    white T-shirt to a water park. 
You can wear NO 
                    shirt to a water park. 
Car mechanics 
                    tell you the truth. 
The world is your 
                    urinal. 
You never have to 
                    drive to another gas station restroom because this one is 
                    just too icky. 
You don't have to 
                    stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
                    
Same work, more 
                    pay. 
Wrinkles add 
                    character. 
Wedding dress 
                    $5000. Tux rental-$100. 
New shoes don't 
                    cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
One mood all the 
                    time. 
Phone 
                    conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
You know stuff 
                    about tanks. 
A five-day 
                    vacation requires only one suitcase. 
You can open all 
                    your own jars. 
You get extra 
                    credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 
If someone 
                    forgets to invite you, 
he or she can 
                    still be your friend. 
Your underwear is 
                    $8.95 for a three-pack. 
Three pairs of 
                    shoes are more than enough.. 
You are unable to 
                    see wrinkles in your clothes.. 
The same 
                    hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 
You only have to 
                    shave your face and neck. 
You can play with 
                    toys all your life. 
One wallet and 
                    one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. 
You can wear 
                    shorts no matter how your legs look.. 
You can 'do' your 
                    nails with a pocket knife. 
You have freedom 
                    of choice concerning growing a mustache. 
You can do 
                    Christmas shopping for 25 relatives 
On December 24 in 
                    25 minutes.
No wonder men are 
                    happier. 
 

 
Love it Lori!!!! lol
ReplyDeleteHow about your groceries, house cleaning, and cooking are all perpetually done so you never run out of TP and your fridge is always stocked with the foods you love. Plus, you never have to plan the week's meals. You never have to resolve medical bills, or any bills for that matter, and your wardrobe is always maintained, from socks to suits, so you never have to worry about not having the right outfit. Oh, Ms. Wilde, don't get me started! ; )
ReplyDeleteI hear ya!
DeleteYou don't know how many times I've said some of these same things with my friends and fsmily. LOL I love it!
ReplyDelete