Friday, August 19, 2011

Happy Day/Sad Day

Today is the 30th anniversary of my 16 year-old brother's tragic death. He's been gone almost twice as long as he was alive. And yes, while somehow you manage to put one foot in front of the other and get through the first bone-shattering crush of grief, you never, ever forget and there's always a small hole in your heart that refuses heals. I miss you, Byron.



So it's been 30 years and I'm not the naive person I was back then. You have to wonder how much of who you are is defined by suffering. There's no real way of knowing. You just have to embrace each day as if it's your last and live it on your terms.

Historically, August 19th is truly an awful day for me. But for this one year, it's a happy day. I sold three books and a novella to Harlequin today. This makes 64 books I've sold since 1994. I feel honored and blessed to be doing what I love. Not only that, but the fact that through my books, I reach out and touch others who may be struggling makes it all worthwhile. Because without readers, the writing has no meaning. I do so appreciate my readers. Smile, hug your loved ones and know that even if you're going through hard times now, there is a way through it.
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12 comments:

  1. Robin CovingtonAugust 19, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    Lori - Hugs to you on this day in memory of your brother and also in congratulations on your sales.

    Grief does shape us but I think that you are an example of someone who found the good in such a tragedy. You reach out to people, you have a sympathetic and caring heart that is obvious through your books, and you bring joy into a world where you know it can be hard to find happiness.

    Robin

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  2. Lori WildeAugust 19, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    Aw, Robin. So do you!

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  3. ConnieAugust 19, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    Oh, Lori, losing a family member is never easy. You just take it a day at a time. I've heard people say that so-and-so hasn't "gotten over" the loss of someone. It always puzzles me when I hear that because you never "get over" that loss, you just learn to cope one day at a time. Bless you, my Dear.

    Connie Fischer
    conniecape@aol.com

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  4. AnonymousAugust 19, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    Lori
    We lost my 22-year-old sister-in-law when she and my brother had been married less than a year. They had dated about five years.

    I think that major life events, such as grief and loss, do shape who we are as a person. It really shows you what you're made of. Having gone through that experience definitely taught me to appreciate and love those around me and to never take things for granted!
    Joan

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  5. UnknownAugust 19, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Sending you a hug, Lori. Losing a loved one is never easy. Each year passes and we learn to cope better than the year before.

    My mom died when I was 19. Reading books got me through the worst of times. I escaped in a world where my grief didn't matter.

    Thank you for writing books that can take me somewhere else for a little while! Congrats on the book deals! I look forward to reading them.

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  6. Beth AlmeidaAugust 19, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    Lori, Hugs to you on this day. It is truly a bitter sweet day for you. I haven't lost a sibling but I did lose my father in '09. He died on the 9th of February...the Monday before Valentine's Day. I have never experienced such bone numbing grief and physical pain as I did on that day. My heart still hurts just as bad as it did then, I just learned not to cry as much. I have also used that experience to try and help people remember how precious and fleeting life is and to love as much as possible.
    Kudos to you on the sale of your books!

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  7. NaAugust 19, 2011 at 12:20 PM

    Wishing you all the best on this bittersweet day. I can only imagine what it is like to lose a beloved family member but I am sending warm hearts and hugs your way. I am sure your brother would be very proud of you and I hope you keep writing and touching people with your stories.

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  8. gigiAugust 19, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    Those anniversaries when a loved one is taken before their time are the anniversaries you wish you would not remember.
    I didn't loose a loved one like that, but my daughter was diagnosed with a life changing disease at 7 years old. That disease changed her into someone else and I grieve for the part that was lost.
    I am so glad that something happy and positive happened today for you Lori. I can't wait to hear you have sold your 100th book.
    Big {{{HUGS}}}

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  9. Karen CAugust 19, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    I'm sorry for your loss, Lori - sending gentle hugs to you today. At the same time, congratulations on the sale of your books, so sending you a high five!

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  10. AnonymousAugust 19, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    i know al about losses
    hugss to u and family

    kim h

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  11. Julee J. AdamsAugust 19, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    My much older brother was killed in January of 1969 and I still think about it almost every day. But, you're right, things do get easier. Congrats on your sales and successes. More to look forward to.

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  12. KatAugust 19, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I can't imagine losing mine at such a young age. God bless you and your family. Here's another hug.

    Congratulations on your new books.

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